JOKES PAGE

Young Kosovian signs for Man. Utd.

Alex Ferguson has just signed the teenaged Kosovian prodigy Jacques Mijhov in a record breaking transfer. A few days later, United find themselves 2-0 down at Old Trafford with only ten minutes remaining. Ferguson decides to give the young lad his first taste of action and by the end of the match, he's scored three goals and won the game.

Immediately afterwards, Jacques calls home to tell the good news, "Mom! Mom! You'll never believe what just happened!"
But the mother distressfully answers, "Oh Jacques, this has been the
worst day..... they've taken your sister, killed your father and burned the house down!"
"Oh mother, that's terrible news! I'm.. I'm so sorry!" replies the stunned footballer.
"Well you should be sorry," the mother says scoldingly, "it was your idea to move to Manchester!"
The American Lady in Scotland

Seventy years ago, a young sexy American woman is driving through desolate fields in northern Scotland in the middle of the night when her car breaks down. She sees a barn with a light on and knocks on the door.
"Oh please can you help me?! My car is broken down and I'm in the middle of nowhere?" she pleas
"Ah, alright. Ar phones a nyet workin' but ya can stay 'ere for tha night if you'd like an I'll drive ya into town tomorrow," explains the Scottish farmer, "But listen 'ere lass, don't ya go messin' around with my two sons Angus and Thomas! Ya understand?!!"
That night, the lady sneaks into the two sons room, turns on the lights and announces, "Alright boys, I'm gonna teach you the ways of the world! But I don't want to get pregnant so you'll have to put these things on!" She gives the boys each a condom and the three do it all night long.
Seventy years have past since and Thomas and Angus are sitting on the porch outside the same barnyard.
"D'ya remember that one American Lass who came over and taught us the ways of the world, long time ago," reminisces Angus.
"How could I forget that!" Answers Thomas.
"Y'know, I've been thinkin, d'ya really care weather or not she gets pregnant?" quizzes Angus.
"No, not really," comes the reply.
"Neither do I. D'ya think we should just take these things off our knobs then!"
Some Viagra Jokes

The other day a truck carrying viagra was hijacked and all the goods stolen. Police are on the look out for some hardened criminals to serve a stiff sentence.

A man overdosed on viagra and died. This presented a huge problem at the funeral though cause they couldn't close the casket.

What if someone chokes on viagra? They get a neck longer than a giraffes.
  Tonto and Silver

Tonto and the Lone Ranger are roaming the great western plains in search for buffalo. Suddenly, Tonto stops, disembarks his horse and puts his ear to the ground.
"Buffalo come!" he announces.
"That's amazing!" remarks the Lone Ranger, "How can you tell?"
"Ear stuck to ground!"

Man City Joke

".....It was reported last night that a burglar broke into the Manchester City trophy room and stole the it's entire contents. Police are on the look out for a man with a blue rug!"

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My god these are awful! Take me back to the Glennaldo Mainpage!