An Italian in Malta

(Must be read with an Italian accent, preferably out loud)

One dayima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go to eata breakfast. I tellawaitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want to piss. She says go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna topiss onna my plate. She say you better not piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't evena know the lady and she calle me sonna ma bitch!

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant.The waitress brings me a spoon and a knifebut no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tella me everyone wanna fock. I tella her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say better not fockon the table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she calla me sonna ma bitch.

So I go to my room inna hotel and there is no sheit onna my bed. I calla the manager and tella him I wanna sheit. Hetella me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna sheit on my bed. He say you better not sheit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the man and he calla me a sonna mabitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk "Peace on you." I saypiss on you too, you sonna mabitch. I gonna back to Italy.

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