ENGLAND

One city I was trying to avoid completely was London. Not that I'm conservative or boring, it's just that London is so huge, so expensive, too much to see and bloody hard to get out of. The fact that I had made several journeys to the nation's capital before made it even more mandatory that this was one place I would have to skip if I were to keep to my original itinerary. London is not an easy place to avoid. In fact, without making the most ludicrous detour, when traveling by train, it's virtually inevitable that one is going to have to stop through London. The problem is London, being the largest city in the world, is the centre of so many train lines that there is not enough room for it all in one station. In fact, there are ten main-line rail stations! This means a simple "change trains in London" requires leaving one station, locating the alternative station and getting there by Underground. You want some examples of the inconvenience? If you're going from Norwich to Portsmouth, this would require arriving at Liverpool Station only to have to leave from Waterloo St. A trip from Liverpool to Canterbury would require a transfer form Euston Station to Charing Cross St. and a simple skip from Reading to Southend would bear the aggravating change of Paddington Station to Fenchurch Station right; the Loch Ness Monster is not the only mystic creature to attract thousands of visitors each year; the Bastard Beast of Borough Green (aka; Damien) is slightly lesser known but just as terrifying an animal. I was not only privileged enough to capture this photo of the dreaded creature but also to have survived the encounter.

Unfortunately ladies, Big Ben is only a clock after all.

It was rather ironic that the one English city I was trying to avoid was the first I embarked in. I arrived from Cardiff to Paddington not realizing that my connecting train to Kent was at a completely different station. Thinking I was an experienced traveler, I had foolishly not read too closely into the itinerary given to me from the Information Center in Cardiff, and spent the next half hour looking trains going down the Maidstone Line. A closer look at my printed schedule and I finally saw the words "Victoria Station". This meant a rush down the Circle Line Underground to catch my connecting train. I wound up missing my connection but fortunately Maidstone Line trains leave Victoria hourly so it wasn't too long before I found myself on my way. "I just can't seem to get away from those Boroughs!" was what Damien cursed. The truth is Middlesborough and Borough Green could not be any more opposite from each. One is an industrial coastal city, tarnished with high unemployment, crime and pollution. The other situated on the gorgeous grass plains of Kent; peaceful, unspoiled and a booming agricultural industry. Borough Green Farm lies in the middle of an area known as Weald. Weald is known for its vast countryside fields, fertile rolling hills and its sensuous natural beauty. Damien and his girlfriend Laura had found themselves a job working on a farm, picking fruit. Although the cities of Canterbury, with it's historic cathedral paid homage to it in Chaucer's Canterbury Tales and Dover, where the ferry can be caught to take one across the Channel to Calais, France are the two main tourist destinations of Kent; Weald is a huge destination for locals due to the employment created through it's thriving agricultural industry. Workers can make wads of take home cash through picking and distributing fruit on one of its many farms.

The farm that Damien and his girlfriend were staying at was only a 2 pound taxi ride away. Damien, one of the funniest men alive, was his usual jolly self. It had not been nearly as long since our last reunion as it had been with Kyle as I had visited Middlesborough one and a half years prior. Although he and his girlfriend shared only a small tent on the farm, there was a room in a porter cabin available for me to crash out in. It was wonderful to see Damien in so much better of a condition than he was in when I had thrust myself upon his families hospitality eighteen months prior. The workers on the farm had formed their own little "gypsy town". Every night, the workers would gather around campfires and porter cabins and socialize, have a few drinks and share laughs. Damien and I entertained just as we had our classmates in Oman before passing out for the night. While I was allowed to stay as many nights as I wanted in Borough Green, the problem was, everyone had to work during the dayshift. I decided I would utilize my trusty Britrail pass and pop off on various daytrips during this time. I left my luggage in their storage tent and headed off to Manchester. Manchester may seem a little strange of a place for a tourist to visit, with no real unique historic monuments to visit but it has been producing brilliant musicians and football teams over the past century. Tarnished with the label "Britain's industrial capital", You need to know what to be looking for in Manchester and I was hoping to crash the Manchester City v Sunderland match, visit the Band on the Wall Club as well as catch some music.

"A complete waste of a trip" would be a little harsh of a way to describe my experience of Manchester however "disappointment" may sum it up a little better. After a nice little stopover in London, changing from Victoria to Euston Station, I arrived in Manchester towards the middle of the day. I made my way to the Piccadilly Circus Gardens Tourist Information Center before selecting a little B&B down Oxford Street.

I've heard Manchester United have won this a few of times

The City game was predictably sold out. Finding this out required a nice little stroll through the luxurious Moss Side to get to Maine Road. "East of the University is Moss Side, a ghetto with unemployment and a thriving drug trade controlled by violent gangs. Don't even go near it!" was what the Lonely Planet Guide had warned but I was still determined to get to this match. As it became obvious there was no way in hell I would be getting into the City match, I set off to find some of the famed Manchester nightlife that got the city dubbed "Madchester". Unfortunately, this was not happening either. Manchester has been the home of such superlative acts as the Smiths, Oasis, the Stone Roses, the Charlatans, Simply Red, Joy Division and New Order. None of whom were performing tonight. The famous Band on the Wall club was closed and the streets were empty as if the whole town had gone on holiday. This may not have been too far from the explanation. Manchester's youth culture relies heavily on its herd of university students. With this being the summer time, they were obviously non-existent and the city was surprisingly dead for the night. A trip to Old Trafford the very next day was an absolute must do for football fans all over the world. I woke up the next morning and immediately headed off that way. The stadium is easily accessible through the Manchester Metrolink and its surroundings are much more pleasant than that of Maine Road. It's already easy to see why the City fans are just a little envious of their rivals. And then there's the ground itself. It's incredible just how huge Old Trafford is. Not just the pitch and stands itself but the gift shop, the trophy cabinet, the museum and surroundings all adding to one impressive setup.

After a thorough tour of Old Trafford, it was back on the train to Borough Green to meet up with Damien. I can safely say the trip to Manchester wasn't a complete waste of time but I couldn't help feel a little disappointed that I hadn't grasped a little more of the nightlife and I was still a little gutted at missing the football game. Oh well, better luck next time.

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